When I really began my journey in life, I had no clue where life would take me. I knew that I wanted to be happy, healthy, to eventually get married and definitely wanted 2 children at some point in life. I most definitely always wanted to be a business owner since a young age, except my idea of being my own boss consisted of owning a chain of Hotels and Restaurants! Who says a girl can’t dream?! Since I was 14 years old I always had a little business going on. However, after going through life, learning different things and going through various experiences I had moments of clarity at different stages in my life.
However, one thing remained the same! I always wanted to get there! “There” to me was job security, having a family, purchasing my dream home by a certain age, traveling around the world and feeling accomplished. I have always put an age cap on everything, which is probably why I would have anxiety about the future because I felt like I was losing time. I will be 27 years old next month and because it seems like I was just 18 like 2 days ago, it frightened me that time was flying by so fast.
Back in my first year of college my major was Business Management, but because of my struggle with Math (Algebra), I was talked into something more obtainable. I changed my major to Psychology in hopes to become a social worker. But something was NOT right! I was not happy with this major; I know I love to help people but I knew deep down in my heart that this is not something I would be happy and fulfilled doing for the rest of my life (or until old age kicked in), I kid… and wanted to go down a road less traveled. I also knew I should not have allowed anyone to talk me out of my original goal, because Business is where my heart is and have always been. After years of inconsistency, I recently changed my major to Computer Science, which is a happy medium between business and my love for technology and all the geeky stuff, (yes I am a real life modern geek, in many, many ways… BUT owning it)!
I see people chasing 9-5’s, fighting for the same positions, working tons of overtime just to get by or have bragging rights just to maintain this “lifestyle.” I also see people obtaining degrees while still being trapped in the rat race and being swallowed up by debt obtained from student loans and it’s frightening. It seems as if it’s a race where everyone is trying to get “there”.
I don’t want to work throughout life stressing about retirement. I don’t want to live through life buying things just to figure out how I am going to maintain them or fully pay for them, just to appear I have reached a certain status. I realize “there” for me at least, is not an accumulation of status symbols. When I was in my teens I remember being eager to move out on my own, once I moved out I couldn’t wait until I turned 18 to officially be an adult. However, once I turned 18, the responsibilities of life flooded me with trials and tribulations but most importantly life lessons. I do not want to be a slave to a 9-5 and while some glorify working 12-13 hours a day with overtime; I don’t want to be that person who’s life is their job. I want to live and enjoy my life! When I was working a 9-5 with required overtime, it made me sick because I was away from my children for so long and I would only see them for a few minutes before work. I didn’t really see the money because of taxes, so it was a lose-lose sitch for me. I want to live a balanced life that consists of all things peaceful. While it’s certainly true that entrepreneurs have to work twice as hard to maintain their business, I believe the benefit is twice as rewarding especially with its flexibility (traveling and being able to work from a coffee shop on a laptop if you want to) and simply being able to do what you love.
I have worked at various jobs and while the people may be different, the culture tends to be the same. When I work, I work very hard but I would always hear the little voice inside of me re-assure that I did not belong where I was working. I went through many different phases but cannot deny that I know, like I know, like I know, that there is and always have been greatness inside of me, I have faith the size of a mustard seed. Even though I re-committed to school to obtain my Computer Science degree, there is apart of me that does not count on that degree alone. School is one of those things where you have to buckle down to get it accomplished so if you did choose a specific field, you won’t have to start at the bottom. That is my plan B and just being smart about the process. With two children, I would be a fool not to have that back up plan, however, I secretly know (and keep to myself), ssshhhhh…what I really intend on doing and definitely willing to work hard for it. I find that a regular 9-5 can be stressful, especially if working in a stressful work environment, then coming home and not being able to have an off switch because you have to remain in full work mode and serve. Yep, it’s as exhausting as it sounds!
I have always heard, “follow your passion,” time and time again. What I do know is this: I love writing and I have always loved helping people in need. However, I get so conflicted so I have had to stop and pray for wisdom and guidance, which should have been my very 1st step. Since I was a young girl I have always gotten great satisfaction by helping others. Which is why I have started a new venture which is a non-profit organization dedicated to assisting women in need with basic necessities. I notice when writing it fulfills a piece of me, but when giving it completes me entirely.
Where Is “There” Now?
“There” now has nothing to do with tangible items that will lose it’s value once I unpackage it, use it, wear it or drive off in it. It means being at peace, being happy and appreciating the small things in life. Being grateful for waking up each and everyday and for my family, friends and loved ones to have great health. It means getting lost in the moment and not worrying about the past or future and to trust God’s timing during every season in my life. “There” is the birth in finding myself and embracing ME without caution™! “There” is reaching a place of forgiveness of anything that steals my joy and stops me from being the person I was called to be. It means not worrying about my life and to enjoy the now along with the ups and downs! It’s life. My life! I’ve decided to bury the age cap complex and continue to use wisdom and allow God to continue to order my steps. The “there” he has for me is much more fulfilling. It does not mean I do not have goals for myself and that I’m going to sit around and wait for anything. It just means that I am going to seek God first and allow him to lead me instead of stressing and trying to figure this thing out on my own.
Ladiez, do you ever stress on getting there?
Do you even believe there is a there for you?
Have you placed an age limit on yourself for your career, having a family and striving for success?