From Struggling to Re-Discovering My Interests

Prior to launching in 2010, I had an idea in mind for The Ladiez Lounge.  Now, I am struggling with something!  When I first created The Lounge, I wanted it to have an actual Lounge feel, where women can get their daily dose of  various tips on Make-up, Hair care, Education, Fashion, Health, Business and a ton of other helpful resources from licensed cosmetologist, nutritionists,  entrepreneurs, and other seasoned veterans.   I never intended on being the main writer for The Ladiez Lounge, but wanted this to be a resource website that most women could relate to.  However, hunting people down to submit their articles was not necessarily something I wanted to continue to do and was extremely stressful because the flow of my vision was dependent upon whether someone felt like contributing on a particular day.  Upon launching 8 out of the 10 women that were assigned to a particular category fell off one by one when it was time to WORK.  Thankfully, two contributors (Education and Inspiration) stepped up and consistently updated their portion.  The Ladiez Lounge was not intended to be a website dedicated to my life and my life only.  I wanted something so much bigger than just sharing my day-to-day highs and lows.  I understand that everything changes and I although I embrace change with open arms, I have to admit that it can be a headache.

Dont ever get too comfortable

So, I decided it will be easier to have occasional guest post, while still being able to accomplish that Lounge feel and be in complete control of what is posted and when.  I must admit when I first started I would get easily discouraged because I did not see immediate results.  After researching business owners in general, all of their stories were different, but one thing that they all had in common was their persistence, hard work and dedication to their craft.  They did not stop going when they were rejected or failed at something.

I have always had the dream of becoming an entrepreneur, which is why I know I am in the right place.  I run my eBay store, The Ladiez Lounge, The Ladiez Closet, fine tuning my eBook for The Ladiez Lounge, She Got Her Own (a web-based directory for entrepreneurs), and working on writing and publishing my first book. But in my opinion, being the Jack-of-all-trades is so unattractive.  Yes, it is awesome to be versatile, but some of my ideas can seem all over the place!  Anything that anyone is getting into requires knowledge in all areas, so it’s difficult to master….”How to be a top eBay seller”, “How to Create the Perfect eBook,”  “How to Get Paid Subscribers,” “Tips on how to be the best author!”  With my kind of time, I cannot do everything, which is why I often ask myself, am I taking on too much?  Is it possible to master so many things?  MY vision is so big!

The struggle I find with denying the status quo is that there are tons of people I can look up to, but because no one has created what I am attempting to accomplish, it’s impossible to be understoodDenying the status quo can be a frightening place, because going down the road less traveled can be intimidating when I cannot articulate the vision that I see that other people just cannot grasps.  Not that other people is the factor here, but the people that help bring this vision to life.  They cannot step into my brain for a minute to get it, I have to be able to walk them through what I want, step by step!


I read, research, analyze and try different things and with the amount of information that is available, it can be a little overwhelming to someone trying to get ahold of a vision that cannot be contained.

I had to re-discover my interests because I thought I was having some sort of mid-life crisis (that’s just not so mid-life!)  Between taking care of my children, traveling to school, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, homework, running my children back and forth to school and everything else (are you out of breath yet)? Me too! I was deeply contemplating shutting The Ladiez Lounge completely down for a while.  I wanted to go back to the drawing board to reconnect with the purpose I had in mind in the first place.  Being pulled in so many different directions is exhausting and more importantly, I want to ensure I am giving 110% each time I log on.  As of late, it does not feel as if I have had ANY time to put in work.  However, after realizing all of the hard work and dedication I HAVE put into it thus far, I decided now would be a great time to breathe life back into it and start fresh instead of shutting it down for any amount of time.

One of my struggles has been with The Ladiez Lounge itself and getting in my own way, because there are endless opportunities for me to network, go to events, link up with other bloggers, guest post and get involved but I always make up the excuse that I’m just not quite ready.  Not ready for people to dissect my post and tell me what I really meant aside from what I REALLY meant, not ready to be over-exposed and lose my complete anonymity (because in reality, I’m such a private person), and not ready for a certain level of success (just YET)!  I know it may seem crazy because people want buzz around their business, and I do as well, but I’m so different from most people.  I want it, just without the extra pressure, over-exposure, lack of privacy and the stigma that comes with success.

I may need to relax just a little bit and let the process take its course. I’m a perfectionist when it comes to all things business and striving to reach a perfection that just doesn’t exist.  With that being said, I am going back to the drawing board, where it all began.  Because I am embracing the change that has taken place with The Lounge, I have to go from there and create something according to the now.  When I look at all of the successful positive influences that I look up to, they all worked through the turbulence, worked when no one believed in them, worked when no one was watching and worked when things were awfully difficult to press forward.  A lot of the businesswomen I admire did not create something that everyone else is doing, they have businesses that are one of a kind and completely different from the status quo.  But I struggle, because I’m different!  So different that people do not understand me, my vision, my drive, my real life struggle or why I am on this mission to make a difference.  That same struggle is ironically paving the way and allowing my crazy, abnormal, creative juices to flow!

Last month, I decided to get away for the day and take a trip to my favorite spot, (Barnes and Noble) to relax and read through a few books.  Barnes and Noble is where I would go to sit for 3-4 hours and just read through all the blogging and business books until I had a deeper understanding for what I was seeking.  I picked up this read and instantly got inspired to dive back into what I love to do and learn more effective techniques to lead TLL in the direction initially intended but with some much-needed upgrades.

blogging, blog books, inspiration for bloggers

When I went back through all of my notes and ideas, I fell in love with my vision all over again!  From writing prompts to Women Empowerment events to collaborating with different brands.  When I first launched, I was so eager to launch these campaigns, commercials, theme songs, store and all of these different events.  I quickly learned I had to pace myself and not try to rush into everything.  However, we do have a few fun things coming up and I will be posting a few series of different things on the editorial calendar.  I am excited that I was able to come back stronger, wiser and have the desire to stick with it and ride it out!


Have you ever struggled with the direction of your business?

What are some effective techniques you used to keep you focus and on task?

Have you ever had an aha! moment in the midst of a setback?



  1. Tay says:

    Putting yourself out there and being vulnerable is extremely scary but it’s so necessary in order to grow. I made up my mind that if I wanted my business to grow that I have step out of my comfort zone by networking and creating relationships with other business owners.

    Every day presents a new challenge but I try to remember the following to keep me on track and focused:
    * Plan..if you don’t plan, you plan to fail.
    * Get used to being uncomfortable. If you keep doing things the same way you’ll get the same results so step outside of the box every chance you get.
    * Other peoples opinions do not matter/ You have enough ideas of your own.
    * Be patient. Allow yourself and your business to grow over time.
    *Just do You!

  2. Shashee says:

    I agree, it is very necessary to grow! I have experienced being uncomfortable when it comes to creating an event and having to bring that vision to life. But it’s different when networking and getting your brand out there. I think I need to be more confident in my craft and when I’m not, that means I need to work harder until I achieve that confidence in what I am doing. You’re steps are great! Planning is definitely an important factor and other peoples opinions have been a struggle as well, because this is my little baby that I am raising LOL I’m sensitive about it! But learning to get thick skin with handling criticism.

    I do believe I have been playing it safe for so long…so now it’s time to really WERK! Thank you for your feedback, ALWAYS very helpful!!! 🙂

  3. Phyllis says:

    Hi, I am from your SITS tribe and I just wanted to drop by and say hi and let you know that I have been in your shoes MANY times! I have another business aside from my blog and I am always second guessing myself and wondering if I should be doing something else but then something happens and it always leads me exactly where I need to be. Listen to your heart and your instincts because they never steer you wrong! I look forward to seeing where your business/blog takes you.

    • Shashee says:

      Hi Phyllis, thank you for the encouraging words, it is much needed at times 🙂 Being a business woman can definitely be a struggle at times! I agree with you, I am always led back to my blogs/freelance writing so I know this is my passion. Btw, so happy to finally be in a tribe and looking forward to reading your blog! 🙂 Thank you for stopping by.

  4. Rozanne Paxman says:

    Hey there,

    I’m one of your SITS Tribe members, too. I’ve had to step back and rethink what I’m doing many times in my life – from businesses, to my blog, to my career, to my family – you name it. The break and “thinking time” has always proven to be very helpful. When you can’t see the forest from the trees, you need to get out a chain saw and cut a few trees down.

    That’s what thinking times, too.

    You go girl!!

    • Shashee says:

      Hi Rozanne,

      I agree, we need that break every now and then. I love your philosophy, I need to find a chain saw STAT! haha Thank you for stopping by! On my way to your blog.

  5. Ade says:

    I definitely understand the frazzled feeling of being a jack of all trades. I work full time as an advertising professional, then I insist on freelance designing and blogging as well. lol. Hopefully, we’ll learn to relax and stop and smell the flowers ever once in a while. If you ever need to rant or bounce ideas off someone, I’m here for ya.

    Ade (Your SITS tribe member)

    • Shashee says:

      Hi Ade,

      Nice to meet you! It can be difficult sometimes but I definitely need to learn to stop, (breathe) and relax sometimes. lol Thank you for stopping by. Looking forward to connecting with you. 🙂

  6. Kemya Scott says:

    You are “multi-passionate” – I don’t know who originally coined the term but it fits perfectly. Your cup runneth over with creativity and one cup can’t contain all your fabulousness! I totally get it.

    I too understand the need to step back, reassess, relaunch, scratch head in confusion, stop again, reinvent, rinse and repeat. As we grow and evolve, our experiences impact our interests and sometimes we need to shift. I think it’s awesome that you have so many things going on, being different makes you interesting! If you’re misunderstood it may be time to expand your circle with more different people who will get it and get you. I’ve been through this part of it too.

    I look forward to seeing what you have in store for TLL. *fellow SITS tribe member*

    • Shashee says:

      Kemya, this is something I really needed to hear! Thank you for your encouraging words, it’s great to know that this is not abnormal. Sometimes the best thing to do is to step back. I do believe it’s time to expand the circle and explore!!! Thank you for stopping by with inspiration filled words.

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